Donald Trump, Republican Presidential Candidate today claimed that he has been rigged by the dirty Democratic Party during the last 18 months of his incomparable run for the office of President of the United States and probably for most of his life.
The New York City real estate billionaire, who starred in NBC’s popular The Apprentice reality TV show, now claims he himself was rigged by Crooked Hillary Clinton and the dirty Democratic Party machine.
“Do you really think, I would do and say so many crazy and stupid, things in this election campaign?”
“Wouldn’t have happened folks..no way. I was rigged by the Dirty Democratic Machine run by Crooked Hillary and her gang of international financiers and aliens. Sad.”
Trump claims that Clinton, in a conspiracy with illegal aliens from the planet Tralfamadore in outer space, abducted him and brought him aboard an alien ship that took him to a clinic somewhere in the Yucatan Peninsula, where a remote control transmission and receiver computer chip was installed in his brain during a 10 hour operation using the most advanced alien technology.”
“Folks that pyramid shaped thing near Cancun, Mexico…landing strip for aliens, ” Trump declared. “Gotta be..those are aliens folks and they got me and they rigged me – rigged me good.”
“That’s what it is and that is why we need that wall. Got to have that wall to prevent aliens from Mexico rigging my brain,” Trump asserted.
Asked how he knew this to be true Trump replied that his good, strong and trustworthy friend of his told him so.
“My friend Vladimir Putin, told me this is true…he is the President of Russia you know…he ought to know folks…he’s got crooked Hillary’s emails after all..hacked them…hacked them real good. Love that guy.”
“And you know those emails Hillary destroyed?” Trump continued, ” – she destroyed them. Gotta go to jail for that…throw her in the clink. Crooked, nasty woman…she destroyed them emails folks so you would never know that she rigged my mind…yes it was rigged. My mind…my mind rigged by aliens and foreign financiers supporting that horrible woman.”
Asked what additional proof he had other than what Russian President Vladimir Putin told him to back up his claim, Trump replied he doesn’t have physical proof because crooked Hillary destroyed all the emails that described his abduction by aliens in detail and the operation they performed near Cancun, Mexico.
“That was all in the emails – she destroyed folks! How she used aliens financed by Mitsubishi and Toyota to rig my mind– need to tear up our treaties with Japan folks…it’s going to happen. Because the aliens, international financiers and the Japanese rigged my mind in Mexico!- Those aliens – bad bad hombres!”
“And when I get to be president I am going to demand crooked Hillary find that computer chip in my brain and take it out before I send to her to jail for a long, long, time,” Trump said. “Lock her up folks – gotta lock her up!”
Trump also claimed that his statements about wanting to grab women by their pussies was also rigged as was his overall $9 Billion dollar losses and his 1995 $900 million loss that he claimed on his tax return for an 18 year federal income tax exemption.
“As I was talking to Billy Bush, I didn’t want to say it folks. I didn’t want to use them words…no way,” Trump declared. “Never would – but my mind was rigged!”
” I was remotely controlled by crooked Hillary,”Trump said, ” and the Japanese, cause she loves sushi..yecch raw fish…only aliens eat raw things like people…they want to eat me folks, those aliens…need that wall real quick before the get me. Sad.”
“And as I was talking to Billy Bush I was trying to say what sweet folks those nice women were,” Trump said, “…but those aliens, folks…they controlled me and rigged my mind and instead I told Billy Bush, I just grab them by their pussies because famous people can do that.”
” Wasn’t me who said that ..crooked Hillary made me say it,” Trump said denying responsibility for the words that seriously damaged his presidential run and led to many Republican candidates for congress repudiating him.
“Nasty, horrible woman.. i don’t even think she has a pussy,” insisted Trump, “Besides, I hate pussy, love dogs…nice dogs, but those aliens, folks – they’re bad hombres whatever planet they come from.”
Trump said that he needs the people of the United States to come out in droves to vote for him on November 8 so he can win the election and be unrigged and have the chip removed from his brain.
He also pledged to Make America Great Again by spending up to $2 Trillion to have all American brains unrigged and have the aliens pay for the operations.
“Folks it was horrible what Hillary Clinton had those aliens do to me…Rig my mind….and if she did it to me…she did it to you too folks.” Trump stated.” Sad.”
“Crooked Hillary loves aliens more than the American people,” Trump continued, ” you can bet she rigged your brains too and she rigged your minds so you will vote for her. Gotta stop that from happening.”
Meanwhile Sean Hannity of Fox News announced that Fox Network will devote an entire two hours during prime time on November 1 a week before the election to allow Donald Trump the opportunity to explain to the American people how his mind was rigged in detail and describe how the aliens abducted him on the orders of that horrible woman, crooked Hillary Clinton.
Sad. Really Sad.
I came in like a wrecking ball All I wanted was to build more walls